The Differences Between a Man and a Woman


Names

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark , Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

Eating Out

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, a
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Arguments

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.

The Future

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring

Ah,children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and
romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

There!  That should stir up some interesting discussion.

Josh H.

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