I’m So Hungry I Could Eat Grandpa

Recently I had some good laughs at work at the expense of a coworker. The coworker’s name is Al and he and I have befriended each other quite quickly. This is due in large part to his fun personality and we, along with our other friends Stephen and Joe, have some great laughs together.

We were all sitting together in the break room recently having our lunch hour as usual. It was the day after the 4th of July so we were all discussing what we had done for Independence Day and the grilling that we did with our families. During our discussion a lady from our section walked in to get something to drink. She didn’t appear to really pay any attention to our conversation. Now there is something you must know about this lady. She is originally from India and practices Hinduism. Because of her religious beliefs she is a vegetarian because animals are held to be sacred. This is due to the belief that when one dies, he is reincarnated and sometimes a person may have the honor (or dishonor, as it were) of being reincarnated as an animal. So to avoid eating a beloved relative (I wonder how Uncle Marv tastes) Hindus do not eat meat. Cows in particular are believed to be sacred because they represent, to Hindus, “abundance [and] the sanctity of all life and of the earth.”

Yummy CowSo there she was, our resident Hindu, casually getting her drink, oblivious to our discussion. Suddenly Al decided to give us a description of the quantity of food of which he had partaken during his Independence Day festivities: “I tell ya, guys, I must have eaten a whole cow yesterday.” I believe it was Stephen who first realized the foot-in-mouth comment that had just been made. I was next. Slowly we each started to snicker. When it dawned on Al, he tried to quickly cover up by saying “Uh What I mean is, I pigged out.” We nearly busted at this second (though less poignant) blunder. I am not sure how sacred pigs are to Hinduism but it made for great humor considering the circumstances.

The lady was still oblivious and walked out without saying anything. However the rest of us erupted in laughter after she left. Al, needless to say, was quite embarrassed. He kept stating that he didn’t mean anything by it. Of course we knew that, but we didn’t mind letting our ridicule of him carry over to the next day…and the next. Thanks, Al.

Josh H.

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